āIām so jealous.ā
Itās uttered about the most innocent thingsāa friend telling you about a holiday, or a really super date they had, or success in finally baking the perfect chocolate roulade. But how does saying that youāre jealous make you feel? It has an icky after effect, right? Like accidentally eating moldy bread.
This experiment is a practical exercise you can incorporate into your day. It is based on the theory of Like Attracts Like. Just as positive attracts positive, and negative attracts negative, certain words or phrases we say (usually flippantly), have a much bigger influence than we give them credit for.
The experiment is: Omit these 4 terms from your vocabulary for a week and see how it transforms your actions and interactions with others.
Jealous
[definition: hostile towards a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage.]Right away, the energy of hostility is brought into the room. You may be very happy for someone with good news, but by using the word jealous, you transfer the focus from their happiness to what you perceive is lacking in your life. This may inadvertently cause your friend to close up or feel like they shouldnāt be happy. And itās not beneficial for your psyche, either.
INSTEAD of using the word jealous, try saying, āThatās wonderful news,ā or āIām happy for you.ā Youād be surprised by how genuinely delighted you can be for someone by choosing not to be jealous, and how much goodness youāll receive back.
Stress
[definition. a physical or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may result in disease causation.]We all experience the Big S. But when you name it, you give it power. There are many round-about ways to continue at the pace of a busy lifestyle while remaining calm under pressure. Itās like learning to surf through the mighty pull of lifeās waves. Alternatively, you can make the decision to slow downāitās a choice! Either way, see what itās like to omit the word stress, even if just for a week.
INSTEAD of saying stress, name what the situation is. Itās usually not vague. Was the bus late? Is your boss being overbearing? Did your gf/bf use all the teabags but left the box in the press? Itās not just stress. Itās life. Name the situation and maybe youāll see a clearer way of getting around it, or simply choose to let it go!
Bored
[definition. lacking interest in something.]This is a funny one. The world is a massive living rock crawling with 7 billion people all doing an infinite number of individual activities. Thereās space exploration. There are bee experts. Thereās a fruit that grows in the rainforests of Central America called Monstera Deliciosa. There is SO much going on in the world. Explore. Read. Create. Enjoy it.
INSTEAD of saying that you are bored, ask yourself how you want to use your time. Use the lull to be inspired. Let some of lifeās hidden doors reveal themselves during these quiet spaces.
I Donāt Like
[definition. to disagree with a certain person, place, thing, or idea.]Itās super easy to say that you donāt like something and to really feel that way about it. But when you say that you donāt like something, you give it a mysterious power. Have you ever realized how something you dislike very strongly affects you more than something youāre apathetic about? Often the things we donāt like (e.g. a seemingly unachievable yoga pose or raw kale) can be our best teachers.
INSTEAD of saying I donāt like blah-blah-blah, notice the thing, person, place, or idea that is bringing about this feeling. Why do you feel this way, can you do something about it, and then can you let it go?
There are many other words and phrases that can be used for this exercise. But this is a good start. Allow what you say to nourish your positive vibes. Just as your breath anchors you in your yoga practice, let your thoughts and words anchor you in your actions.
āLove is the bridge between you and everything.ā – Rumi
