Itâs like when your best friend or your partner does something that gets under your skin. You know this person so well that your thoughts spill out as not-so-gentle words.
But hopefully youâve been practicing part 1 of metta bhavana towards yourself. Youâre calmer. Things are bit more still. You have a new-found respect for yourself, more stability, and want to engage with people in ways that are mindful rather than rash and chaotic.
This is part 2 of Metta Bhavana.
If youâre reading this and are (by chance!) not in the middle of an argument, think of someone you know. Someone close to you. Someone you care about. The fundamental idea for the subsequent stages of MB is that your thoughts towards others can have a huge influence on them. Think of your person and direct these words toward them in your mind:
May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you be peaceful.
May you be filled with love and kindness.
Recite it in your head. You can even secretly look at them–they wonât hear your thoughts, but they might feel it. And if youâre feeling really bold, say the words to them. Experience how giving this goodness to someone else changes the way they react toward you. It can be incredibly helpful in the midst of intimate squabbles or just totally lovely for everyday life.
I read an article the other day about a study conducted by Chief Scientist Dean Radin, Ph.D. from the Institute of Noetic Sciences. The experiment tested the effects of water crystal formation before and after being influenced by metta bhavana. The crystallization of water treated with good intentions turned out to be more aesthetically beautiful (more elaborate and symmetrical in shape) than the crystals untreated. A similar study by Japanese energy scholar, Masaru Emoto, demonstrated how water molecules would transform when given either a good or bad intention. Lo and behold, the ill-intended water appeared âsickly’ and fragmented under the microscope.
Maybe or maybe not youâll change a personâs molecular make-up by cultivating loving kindness towards them. But you can both enhance and repair your relations with those close to you, allowing for deeper connection and understanding, by practicing metta bhavana first, for yourself, and then towards a person you care about.
Part III of metta bhavana will go even further into this, exploring where you can really dig deep for your inherent kindness and spread it around your life like goodness seeds.